Strsslines: The art of personal peace The art of personal peace December 1, 2002 Regular News Dr. Bernard G. Suran Dictionaries define peace as a state of tranquillity or freedom from agitation. When we are thinking wisely, we define peace as a blessing.Although few of us achieve tranquillity as a permanent state, we cherish our moments of peacefulness as a respite from the stress and pressures that haunt us in our individual searches for the tools that will make our lives better. Infrequently do we consider peace itself as one of the significant tools, let alone the object of the search.In truth, some of us prefer a state of agitation as a more rewarding condition: Being stirred up assures a vibrant existence, even if the vibrancy borders on lunacy. To the unfamiliar, tranquillity may be mistaken for boredom; absence of effort; or, worst of all, a threat.Don’t we all know a few type-As who would implode if ever their lives were peaceful enough to conduct a moment of genuine self-examination? They are well aware of the old Chinese proverb: Those who ride the back of the tiger should be very careful on the dismount. At times, all of us avoid peace because we fear what we might find within ourselves if we allow quiet contemplation to have its due.In a culture that places such premium on achievement and accomplishment, peace remains a confusing possibility. A little here and there might nourish the spirit, but caution warns about too much of a good thing.Many people may appreciate a little less jangle in the nervous system — but not enough to risk losing the edge that maintains position in the rat race. If we unconsciously associate the prospect of a more enduring state of composure with loss of mastery, that prospect will never hold sufficient power to motivate a search adequate to the conquest of obstacles.Peace as Mastery Unlike failing memory and back problems, peace will not find us simply because we grow older, slow down, and outlive our indiscretions and immaturities.It’s not something that happens to us against our will or wishes. Oh, the coffin does that: Rigor mortis beats a quicker path to those who spend their lives rushing down the highway of death without thought of peaceful rest stops. The highway of death? Yes, the ambitiously dutiful, driven, down-and-dirty dynamics of professional life that regard personal growth as an unnecessary luxury. That formula invariably disguises a lack of control even in those who look like gifted controllers. What is less masterful than the inability to manage oneself peacefully when need be?Since growing peaceful is much like taming the whirlwind, finding peace when we need it is likely the highest form of self-mastery.When our lives have been dedicated to higher-gear action, our psychic apparatus keeps on whirring even when we try to shut down the engine. Thus, peace requires a new and unique mastery of the psychic machinery that we rev on a daily basis: Sovereignty of all that we have come to be plus command of how we choose to be in different moments of our lives.Such self-possession enables us to exercise the power of discretion. We refrain and contain without stuffing feelings or blocking affect. We recognize blind alleys without having to travel the maze. We use our experience to inform us about situations as they develop. We make decisions based on the merits rather than impulse, unconscious agendas, or conflicting motivations. We also make decisions about taking action or simply remaining above the fray.Peaceful does not mean chicken hearted. The tiger is peaceful. The tiger’s patience before the pounce creates better decisions about when and if to pounce at all. We will not find peace if we do not learn to choose our battles wisely and infrequently.Where Does it Start? In an inherently adversarial profession, lawyers might contend that any hope for personal peace got flushed when they began counting billable hours with a micrometer.In truth, those who are predictably exposed to intense scrutiny and hot-blooded interactions have an even greater need to develop strategies for cooling off and calming down. Peacefulness is not an event, like locating a calm button in our response repertory. Rather, it must be cultivated as a quality of personhood that overlooks the irrelevant and distinguishes worthy action from the simple whirr of the engine.Serious movement toward peace usually arises in consternation, namely allowing the conflicts and contradictions in our lives to surface undisguised, undenied, and unwanted.We begin the journey toward cultivating an inner calm because we’re able to recognize the fruitlessness of various hassles in our lives. Usually, we cannot find the motivation to reconcile conflicts and contradictions until we have been exposed sufficiently to having conducted ourselves badly as an object lesson in how not to do it.The conflicts between ourselves and others are obvious enough: bruises on the knuckles or the noggin, not to mention the havoc we might wreak for others. For what? A start toward peaceful mind begins by identifying the conflicts that don’t seem necessary; in time, that list might grow. Sometimes, the price of peace requires the termination of hopelessly conflictual relationships. The conflicts within ourselves are more difficult to discern, but they all involve behaving in ways we know to be wrong for us.Living with built-in contradictions between values and behavior is the chief enemy of peace; the best antidote for contradiction is living honestly by being faithful to our needs and beliefs. It’s hard to be peaceful if our lives don’t make sense.The actual techniques for cultivating a spirit of peacefulness are many and varied: deep breathing and relaxation exercises, yoga, meditation, walks in the park, visits to a place of worship. The process of peace is self-fulfilling: When we have found a degree of harmony, we become more aware of making decisions or taking actions that disturb that harmony. The path to greater serenity is rooted in the intention to explore the possibility, rather than living with the unrecognized or untested conviction that “It won’t work for me.” Dr. Bernard G. Suran, Ph.D., is a licensed clinical psychologist and diplomat and fellow of the Academy of Clinical Psychology and the American Board of Professional Psychology. This column is published under the sponsorship of the Quality of Life and Career Committee. The committee’s Web site is at www.fla-lap.org/qlsm. The Quality of Life and Career Committee, in cooperation with the Florida State University College of Law, also has an interactive listserv titled “The Healthy Lawyer.” Details and subscription information regarding the listserv can be accessed through the committee’s website or by going directly to www.fla-lap.org/qlsm.
LOG INDon’t have an account? Register here Facebook Linkedin Google Topics : Log in with your social account For almost a year, residents of community unit (RW) 18 of Pancoran Mas district, Depok, have been annoyed by loud dangdut music blasting from a cemetery located on Jl. Swadaya, a street in neighborhood unit (RT) 5. The residents… Heli, a 30-year-old resident of Pancoran Mas, Depok, West Java, recalled attending a tahlilan (prayer gathering) last Saturday afternoon after one of his neighbors passed away and had just been buried earlier that morning at a cemetery located right in front of his house. Forgot Password ? The tahlilan went fine as attendees fervently prayed while some wiped away tears as they mourned their loss. However, the mournful atmosphere swiftly changed as loud dangdut music suddenly blared from the middle of the cemetery. “I couldn’t focus on praying as the sound was very disturbing,” Heli told The Jakarta Post on Friday. graveyard music cemetery dangdut scavenger street-musician Depok West-Java
Bermuda-based shipping group Teekay Corporation has entered into an agreement to extend the employment of the Petrojarl Banff FPSO unit in the North Sea for a period of one year.Under the deal with a subsidiary of Canadian Natural Resources (CNR), the FPSO unit will continue working on the Banff field until the end of August 2020.The company said that the contract was agreed at substantially similar terms to the current deal, which includes an upside component linked to oil prices and oil/gas production.“We are pleased to announce this important FPSO contract extension for the Petrojarl Banff, which extends the production of the fields in the North Sea, and we are committed to work together with CNR to maximize production in the future,” Kenneth Hvid, Teekay’s President and Chief Executive Officer, said.
Newsroom GuidelinesNews TipsContact UsReport an Error “Could’ve been worse for sure,” Clayton Kershaw said after his duel with Madison Bumgarner fizzled into a bullpen game and a no-decision, “but I’ll take it.”A walk by Chase Utley, a single by Yasiel Puig and a pitch that hit Justin Turner allowed the Dodgers to load the bases in the ninth inning against Casilla trailing 2-1.With one out, Adrian Gonzalez hit a routine ground ball to second baseman Kelby Tomlinson. Tomlinson couldn’t transfer the baseball out of his glove in a steady rain, so he threw to first base for the sure out. That allowed Utley to score the tying run.In the 10th, Corey Seager and Charlie Culberson hit back-to-back doubles against Josh Osich. Kenley Jansen nailed down his second save of the season by pitching a 1-2-3 inning.“I’ve never played in the postseason,” Culberson said, “but that’s what it felt like … postseason baseball, first week of the season.” One day after the Dodgers failed to reward Ross Stripling’s stellar pitching performance ‑ the right-hander didn’t allow a hit for 7 1/3 innings in his major league debut ‑ they squandered more opportunities than they were given the previous two days combined. The Dodgers finished 2 for 21 with runners in scoring position.They began four different innings with a leadoff double, and each time they failed to score. The Dodgers’ only run against Bumgarner scored when Scott Van Slyke was hit by a pitch with the bases loaded in the third inning ‑ and Van Slyke was subsequently removed from the game with tightness in his lower back.Kershaw, for one, deserved better. In his second start of the season, Kershaw allowed four hits in eight innings and threw only 91 pitches. Two of the hits were solo home runs by Bumgarner and Ehire Adrianza. It was the first time Kershaw had ever allowed solo home runs to the opposing number-8 and number-9 hitters in his career.Bumgarner is the only pitcher to hit a home run off Kershaw in the major leagues, and he’s done it twice.“Maybe it was over the plate a little too much, but he got it pretty good,” Kershaw said.The Dodgers had plenty of chances to answer but Bumgarner escaped every jam while allowing only the one run. The left-hander threw six innings, allowed six hits, walked one batter and struck out eight.The start of the game was delayed 40 minutes due to rain, which passed over the park only to reappear in the late innings. Dodgers pitcher Chris Hatcher slipped on the mound at one point in the ninth, but remained in the game.Roberts said there was no talk of delaying the game to wait out the storm in the late innings. He was more concerned about running out of players.Pitcher Kenta Maeda, who hit a home run three days earlier in San Diego, was at one point two at-bats away from appearing as a pinch hitter, Roberts said. After back-to-back losses to their rivals, Roberts sounded prepared to pull out all the stops. He had pulled out most of them by the time Saturday’s game was over.“Now we have a chance to split the series,” he said. “That’s the goal.” SAN FRANCISCO >> The Giants beat the Dodgers with a series of well-placed base hits Thursday. Friday, they won with two home runs.Saturday, the Dodgers nearly beat themselves.After eight innings of missed opportunities, the Dodgers rallied against Giants closer Santiago Casilla for a run in the ninth, and scored another in the 10th, to salvage a 3-2 win.“My card is a mess,” Dodgers manager Dave Roberts said after using every position player at his disposal ‑ including second baseman Micah Johnson, who didn’t arrive until the seventh inning.